Date:         Fri, 24 Jan 97 09:19:42 CST
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         Joel Walker <JWALKER@ua1vm.ua.edu>
Subject:      Re: U think U have snow HA!:)

all this talk about extreme weather changes and snow and all reminds me
of the terrible hardships we, of the Old South, had to endure when i was
but a mere lad. why, it used to get so hot in the summer time that if you
left your feet out in the sun, they'd start to melt! and snow? no, we didn't
get any snow, but what we had was worse: dandruff! every spring, the cows,
pigs, horses, dogs, and some old coots would start to shed and the dandruff
would get really bad. some days, it was sooo bad, it blotted out the sun,
and you'd have to drive around at noon with your headlights on! and once
the shedding stopped, then the mosquitos would start swarming ... cause now,
with all the hair and dead skin gone off the cows, pigs, horses, dogs, and
old coots, the skeeters could get nice and close to the new pink flesh ...
and that they did. get close, that is. why, some days, the skeeters were
so thick, they'd blot out the sun. and you'd drive around at noon with
your headlights on! and all the dandruff and dead skeeters would clog up
your windshield wipers and clog up your radiators, and the next thing you'd
know, Miz Delma Foster had overheated her 46 Plymouth in the middle of THE
intersection (you know, the one with the red light), and blocked traffic
going both ways in town! oh, i tell you, it was a mess. and none of the
"federal folks" (them post office employees) would bother to come out and
push her out of the middle of the intersection ... cause they was afraid
of the skeeters (Yankees have a thing about grits and skeeters).

and if that wasn't bad enough, we wuz poor as well. why, we were soooo poor,
all we got was DIRT for Christmas three years in a row. well, that wouldn't
have been so bad, but the first year, it was used dirt. and the second and
third year, it was the same dirt as the year before. :(

... and we had to walk to school. eight miles. at noon. with our headlights
on. :)

Unca Joel
300 years and counting ...