Date:         Thu, 14 Nov 96 21:53:43 CST
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         Joel Walker <JWALKER@ua1vm.ua.edu>
Subject:      PPPhrydaye Phunne? well ...

i found this lying around on another car list (the Acura/Honda NSX list,
if you must know). being a person who likes BLUE, i find it amazingly
accurate and inciteful. ;)  however, others of you who have this thing
about the color of their buses (you know who you are!) may violently
disagree. :) it's ok. i don't mind the flames. Blue is Cool. ;) and
besides, *I* did NOT write this garbage ... some overpaid and underworked
psyche-atrics did (is them sort of mental gerry-atrics??). :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
     Your Favorite Color is the
     Key to Your Sexual Life

         The clothes you wear, your home furnishings and the car you
     drive all give clues to your sexual personality.  The key is the
     colors you select for your possessions.  Most people claim they
     haven't a favorite color.  But look around you, and you'll notice
     a pattern, especially in your clothing and home decor.  The
     predominant color for you is the one that appears most frequently -
     it's the one that mirrors the sexual you.  A panel of psychologists,
     speaking at the 1975 Home Interior Design Forum, explained the
     association between color and sexual patterns.

         RED:  People who like red tend to be tigers in the sack.
     They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable.
     Once the sexual spark is ignited, it may take hours to extinguish.
     When two reds get together, the ensuing erotica could make Lady
     Chatterly blush.  Lovers of red tend to be aggressors and weaker
     colors should be aware.
         YELLOW:  If you tend to favor yellow, your sexual drives are
     complex and turn toward the adaptable.  The favorite color of
     homosexuals is yellow. But don't panic - not everyone who wears
     yellow is homosexual. In most cases the person will consent to the
     stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will never enjoy
     sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation from
     somebody you enjoy or admire.
         PINK:  Persons who like pink show a reluctance to mature in
     sexual matters: women tend to tease, to promise more than they
     intend to deliver. In some cases they flaunt their femininity - but
     because they secretly hate men.  A great percentage of prostitutes
     boast entire wardrobes in pink.  Men who like pink are the
     philanderers and flirts.  They are the type who will make three
     dates for the same evening and not keep one, preferring to pick up
     a dish in some bar instead.  Women whose husbands like pink should
     keep a secret nest egg.
         PURPLE:  Lovers of purple frequently consider themselves to
     be too sophisticated for a fun romp in the sack.  Women sometimes
     are the type who hate to mess their hair.  Men are business-like in
     their approach to lovemaking.  In both sexes purple partners
     are more concerned with their fulfillment than anyone else's
     gratification.
           BLACK:  Black color preferences point to black sex (not
     necessarily meaning black partners).  These people are the misfits
     of the sex world and seek out each other in kinship.  They tend to
     prefer perverted sex and are usually masochistic or sadistic in
     nature.  They are moody people and often perform at their peak when
     under stress or during unhappy times.  Police psychiatrists claim
     that sex offenders prefer the color black.  And it is no coincidence
     that the uniform of mobsters and teenage gangs is black attire.
           GREEN:  Those who prefer green are fresh and innocent in
     their approach to sex.  Women who love green will always make love
     like virgins all their life.  And a man may always be a trifle
     clumsy and awkward but in a charming and endearing sort of way.
     Green lovers are gentle, but not passionate.  If chosen as a mate,
     one will never need worry about infidelity.
           ORANGE:  Lovers of the color orange lean toward sexual
     fantasies. The sex act is regarded as a dramatic one-act play in
     which they are the star. Foreplay is as important as the act of
     love.  They whisper sweet nothings, meaningless dialogue;  they
     feel it is their image. Orange people often do not experience
     orgasm - but they put on a darn good act. Men tend to pull their
     partner's hair, and women leave red welts on their sex partner's
     back.
           BROWN: If you love brown, you're a real treasure for the
     right mate. Brown lovers tend to be warm and deep, sensitive to the
     needs and desires of their partners.  Sex is a 24 hour a day thing.
     Where you can't say "I love you" often enough.  Snuggling by the
     fire, walking in the rain or catching snowflakes on their tongue is
     a turn-on to a lover of brown. They need lots of time and privacy to
     make love. But their emotions are such that one harsh word could end
     the affair.
           GRAY:  The color gray a preferred by people who are
     indecisive. They can't get excited about anything - including color
     - so they choose a noncommittal shade.  Men who prefer gray look at
     sex as a way of relieving tension-but nothing more, nothing less.
     It's wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Women don't make love, they have
     intercourse. And for one of two reasons only: to accommodate their
     mate, or to become pregnant. They count the cracks in the bedroom
     plaster until the sex act is over with and done. But when teamed
     with another color, the gray spouse considers the other's
     infidelity a blessing.  When gray marries another gray, the marriage
     is made in heaven.
     ********************************************************************
           BLUE:  Lovers of blue are wonderful sex partners.  They
     are sinners, affectionate and sensitive to their partner's need.
     They consider love making a fine art and their approach is elegant.
     Men who love blue are like concert pianists, delicately ravaging
     their partner like they would play a baby grand. Women in the blue
     category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are exciting partners but
     their passion may be compared to a tidal wave rather than fiery
     aggression. Both women and men enjoy foreplay and the aftermath of
     lovemaking, as much as the sex act itself.  In marriage a blue
     person is a wonderful mate - never seeking outside interests.
     ******************************************************************* :)
           WHITE: If a person is infatuated with white, sex often
     seems filthy. These people are puritanical in nature. French kissing
     is obscene and to make love in the daylight in unheard of. Women who
     love white will undress beneath the covers.  Men will shower before
     and after the sex act. These people still use pet names for their
     genitals.
     ---------------------------------------------------------------------

and, ya know, those psychiatrists didn't do a very thorough job. there are
colors that they simply overlooked!!! :)

           Polka-dot: When a person shows unblushing preferences toward
      polka-dots, they often find sex very frustrating, being unable to
      focus on the job at hand. These people are very indecisive in nature
      and often die as virgins, due to an inability to decide to have sex
      at all. Women who prefer polka-dots can't sit still for more than
      a few minutes at a time, fidgetting as if they have ants in their
      pants. Or is it that women with ants in their pants wear polka-dots?
      I can't recall. Men are usually much more conservative, preferring
      to express their polka-dottedness in small, almost concealed bow
      ties.
           Camouflage: People showing marked desires toward clothing of
      camouflage colors, whether Desert Storm or Woodland Forest or Urban
      Assault Team, are demonstrating their voyeuristic desires toward sex.
      Perferring to hide in the bushes and watch others, they often show
      extreme signs of repression and hostility toward others, even to the
      extent of preferring sex with farm animals or stationary motor
      vehicles. Their behaviour becomes most bizarre and confused during
      full moons and the Fall season, when the leaves change color and
      fall off the trees. It is believed that the lessening invisibility
      of the illumination and seasonal decrease in foliage causes severe
      approach-avoidance conflicts within this personality type. The most
      extreme cases also paint their vehicles in the same color patterns.
           Bondo/Rust: This color preference belongs to persons exhibiting
      an extreme tendency toward procrastinatiion, possibly to the extent
      of never having actually had sex at all. They tend to avoid completing
      anything, and have been observed (by those wearing camouflage) to
      sometimes abruptly break off the sex act and retire to the garage
      or carport to apply another coat of Bondo to some old rustbucket
      vehicle.

anybody got any more?? :)
ol' Blue
;)