Date:         Fri, 22 Feb 2013 09:15:01 -0400
Reply-To:     Hector Zapata <hlzapata@GMAIL.COM>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Hector Zapata <hlzapata@GMAIL.COM>
Subject:      Friday NVC: DARWIN Awards ... 2005 (old but good)
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Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards
are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the
glorious winners:

1.  When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at the inteded victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, CA, would-be robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder.  He peered down the barrel and
tried to trigger again.  This time, it worked...


The honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
meat-cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim
to his insurance company. The company, expecting negligence, sent out one
of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a
finger. The chef's claim was approved.


3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during  a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken  the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a
free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.


5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.


6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
man  pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the
clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
the drawer...$15.   (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is
a crime  committed?)


7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.


8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman
was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told
to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
that's her. That's
the lady I stole the purse from."


9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open
the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
walked   away.


A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER:


10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home
near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to
trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

- - - - - - -

In the interest of bettering humankind please share these with
your friends and family... unless of course one of these 10 individuals, by
chance, is a distant relative or long lost friend.  In that case be glad
they are distant and hope they remain lost.