Date: Fri, 15 Nov 2002 10:38:58 -0000
Reply-To: Clive Smith <clive.harman-smith@NTLWORLD.COM>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: Clive Smith <clive.harman-smith@NTLWORLD.COM>
Subject: Re: Fwd: VOLKSWAGON vs ROLLS
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
The Hon. Winston Ponsonby-Smythe and his wife is touring the Transvaal,
having made an epic overland journey in his grossly overloaded Rolls Royce
Silver Cloud. He becomes stranded when the drive to the rear wheels fails,
and suspecting a rather major mechanical problem, takes up residence in the
nearest (and grandest) hotel and contacts Rolls Royce back in Blighty. A
week or so later, two RR mechanics arrive, complete with enormous wooden
crate and proceed to remove the car's rear axle, replacing it with contents
of large crate. After a quick 'ceremonial' handover of the repaired vehicle,
they salute smartly and depart for the dockside with enormous crate now
containing old axle.
For the next six months, the Hon. Winston tools around South Afreeka and
after another epic overland eventually arrives back at his 'grand pile' in
the heart of England. A few months go by and wondering why he hasn't been
presented with a Rolls Royce service bill of a magnitude to make even his
eyes water, puts pen to paper. Several weeks pass before one morning a
letter arrives with the famous RR logo embossed on it's rich velour
envelope.
Dear Mr. Ponsonby-Smythe,
Regarding your letter of the 6th inst., enquiring after the service repair
and replacement of a rear axle to your valued Silver Cloud.
Unfortunately we can find nothing relating to this matter in our service
files and indeed would like to assure you that Rolls Royce rear axles do not
break - under any circumstances!
Thanking you for your enquiry,
Mr. H. Bligsthroat
(International Service Manager)
Rolls Royce.
Mmmm. Wonder what Volksagen's response would be under similar
circumstances -
Dear Sir,
Whilst VW transaxles are designed and built to the highest standards and
perfectly suitable for the vehicle they are fitted to, it is not wise to
change into third gear more than 19,324 times during the life of the
vehicle, particularly as you should by now have noticed that they have a
habit of losing oil once out of warranty - albeit slowly. Consequently we
require a deposit of DM56000 before embarking on such an adventure.
............................................................................
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----- Original Message -----
From: "Andrew Grebneff" <andrew.grebneff@STONEBOW.OTAGO.AC.NZ>
To: <vanagon@GERRY.VANAGON.COM>
Sent: Friday, November 15, 2002 9:28 AM
Subject: Fwd: VOLKSWAGON vs ROLLS
> Can't spell Volkswagen but...
>
>
> >This man in a Volkswagon Beetle pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls
> >Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the
> >guy in the Rolls: "Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls?"
> >
> >The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do."
> >
> >
> >"I got one too... see?"
> >
> >"Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice."
> >
> >
> >"You got a fax machine?"
> >
> >"Why, yes, actually I do."
> >
> >"I do too! See? It's right here!"
> >
> >
> >"Uh-huh."
> >
> >The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagon
> >says, "So, do you have a double bed in back there?"
> >
> >And the guy in the Rolls says, "NO! Do you?"
> >
> >
> >"Yep, got my double bed right in back here see?!"
> >
> >The light turns and the man in the Volkswagon takes off.
> >
> >
> >Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he goes
> >immediately to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double
> >bed in back of his car. About two weeks later, the job is finally
> >done and he picks up his car and drives all over town looking for
> >the Volkswagon.
> >
> >He finally finds it parked alongside the road so he pulls his Rolls
> >up next to it. The windows on the Volkswagon are all fogged up and
> >he feels a little awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly
> >modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagon.
> >
> >
> >The man in the Volkswagon finally opens the window a crack and peeks out.
> >
> >The guy in the Rolls says, "Hey. Remember me?"
> >
> >"Yeah, yeah, I remember you. What's up?"
> >
> >
> >"Check this out... I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."
> >
> >And the man in the Volkswagon says, "YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO
> >TELL ME THAT?!"
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